


You, Like An Angel

by ZXA



Category: Future Card Buddyfight
Genre: M/M, Sometimes you are HOPELESSLY IN LOVE and cannot say anything, anyway this is really gay, you don't want to be scared but ykno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 08:18:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14911779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZXA/pseuds/ZXA
Summary: You're beautiful, like something out of a dream. But I could never tell you my true feelings.Even though I've accepted them.I promise, I'll love you no matter what you feel for me.So please, let it be my destiny to stay by your side.





	You, Like An Angel

I’ve noticed for a long time now. The way your feathery mint green hair looks almost angelic. The smile that crosses your face, the way you grin. How you look when you laugh, how you sound.

How good it feels to be around you, even as we do nothing.

How beautiful you are, without even trying.

 

I want to admire you like this forever. I… don’t want things to change.

I’m terrified of losing you.

 

… I sigh, calmly resting on his couch. It’s been a long day, and I’m decidedly glad to  _ be here _ , but I also feel as though it will be a burden if I stay too long.

 

If he says something, I will go. But… Kanata isn’t that type of person. Unless something really awful happens, I highly doubt he will  _ make  _ me leave.

I’m welcome, but I feel guilty about it.

 

So for now, I relax on his couch, with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and a cup of hot tea held in my hands. Some cartoon is playing on the television— I haven’t been paying any attention, really, it’s just background noise to my thoughts.

 

I’ve been thinking about Kanata again. I take a sip from the mug.  _ Speaking of which _ , he’s been gone a while. The boy  _ is  _ called a prodigy, but I cannot help but wonder if he is always this busy.

 

… Probably not, right?

 

I curl up a little more. I kind of want to talk to him now, but I can’t control any of this. Even just seeing his face…

 

… I am decidedly a mess.

 

I wonder how much  _ that man  _ would be laughing at me, spitting in the face of all the things I care about?

 

I sip the tea again, holding onto the blanket.  _ Deep breaths. Relax. Don’t think about that. _

 

I am startled by a sudden noise.

 

“Oh!” I hadn’t even realized his mother was home, and I gazed up at the recently familiar lady with a small smile as she spoke. “Are you doing alright, Gaito? Can I get you anything?”

 

I let out a small chuckle. “Ah, no, I’m alright.”

— but I do ask, since I am curious. “Is Kanata always out this late?”

 

“Mm, he should be back shortly at this point. I’m very proud of him, you know.”

 

“He’s a great person.” I say, my face a combination of relief, relaxation, and  _ fondness _ .

 

She catches the expression and flashes me a small smirk, walking off to tend to something else.

 

“I’m hooome!” My heart is ill prepared for the sudden sound of Kanata’s voice, and I feel it try to leave my chest a moment before I breathe, calming, tea, and respond.

 

“Welcome back.” I say, deadpanning.

I try to mask my emotions again.

 

He eventually plops himself next to me. By then, my mug is empty, and I place it down nearby. He leans casually against me, and I lean back.

 

He’s warm.

 

“Wanna watch something?” He asks. The TV still plays right now, but he’s realized I’m not paying any attention.

 

“Ah, sure, if you want to.” It doesn’t make that much a difference right now, but perhaps if there’s something else going on, he won’t notice how much I am staring at him…

 

He puts on something he really likes, and I am fine with that. As he smiles at it, a look up at him again.  _ Fond _ .

 

I’m small compared to him, huh.

… I wonder if he’d like physical affection from me.

 

I can’t really give it, though, I get anxious heart palpitations just thinking about  _ holding his hand _ .

 

_ Shit _ , I’m doing it again.

 

“Gaito.” He says my name, and it snaps me from my thoughts, “Are you okay? You’ve been spacing out a while.”

 

“I—.” I turn away, mumbling to myself,  _ I missed you _ . But I don’t want to say it. So I just lean a little closer. “I might be a bit tired.”

 

“You can lay in my lap.” He says with a grin.

 

I—

 

“I’m  _ absolutely not doing that _ !” I cry. He’s so embarrassing!

 

“Oh, okay. It was just a suggestion.” He leans again, and I gently grip at him.

 

I want him to stay.

I don’t want to lose anyone else. For  _ any  _ reason.

 

Maybe it’s a little clingy or something, but my heart is longing for him. I’d never say that.

… I  _ can’t  _ say anything.

 

He decides to hold onto me, and I use the opportunity to stay close, sliding just barely into his lap.

 

_ I’m kind of compact. _

He just wraps his arms more casually.

 

He chuckles from above me.

 

“What’s so funny???”

 

“You’re against laying in my lap, but you don’t mind sitting in it?”

 

“Sh—Shut up!” I didn’t want him to  _ point it out _ . He’s blunt like that, though. I lightly punch him with one of my fists.

_ Lightly _ .

 

He laughs again before blurting out, “I mean, I don’t  _ mind _ , I’m just saying.”

 

“It’s different like this, okay? I’m just a little…”  _ I could use the cold excuse. He’s warm—  _ but the blanket’s there too, and it’s since fallen off my shoulders.

 

I don’t finish the sentence, he pipes in. “It’s fine, really.”

 

I just want— I bury my face against his chest. The feeling won’t  _ leave _ . I can’t say anything. But it’s so much.

 

I can’t—.

But running from this, wouldn’t that hurt him? So I swallow my anxieties again, just letting myself be comfortable like this.

 

_ He’s always so comfortable _ . Not just physically. He’s casual, and that’s comfortable for me— he’s blunt. Right to the point.

It’s something I really like about him. And when he smiles, it’s like my fears melt away.

 

I’m  _ in love  _ with Kanata Oozora.

I’ve been on my way to accepting this for weeks now, but it’s only just now  _ finally  _ bubbled to this point.

 

I, Gaito Kurouzu, am absolutely in love with Kanata Oozora. I would do so much for him— and he is such a comfort— and living without him would be hard. Really, really hard.

 

Even if I’ve accepted this, I cannot tell him. If— If something like that were to ruin our friendship, I’d break.

 

I can’t tell him. I  _ absolutely  _ must  _ never  _ tell Kanata Oozora that I am desperately in love with him.

 

A hand rubs against my back. I guess he’s noticed I’m anxious, what with myself clutching onto him like this.

 

“Thanks.” I finally let fall from my lips.

 

“For the pat? No problem.”

 

I laugh.

He looks confused, then laughs too.

 

“We—.” I say, laughing a little more, “We are  _ not  _ doing this again.”

 

But it devolves into a mess anyway, even though I’m in his lap.

 

“Hey, Kanata?” I say once we’ve calmed, smiling softly against him.

 

“Huh?” He tilts his head forward— not too far, but to look down at me again.

 

“I…” I look up at him, smiling, faltering for a moment. It’s only a little bit, but I wrap my arms around him too.

“I hope we can stay friends like this, forever.”

 

My heart twinges a bit at my own words, but that’s acceptable.

This is the best  _ possible  _ outcome.

Since, there’s not a single way anyone could fall in love with me.

 

That’s fine.

He doesn’t say anything though. Just, slowly nods his head and— “Mm.”

 

“Thank you.”

“I haven’t done anything worth thanking?”

 

I chuckle. You’ve done  _ plenty _ worth thanking, Kanata. More than I’d ever be willing to tell you.

 

I close my eyes, staying in the hug a while.

This is  _ happy _ .

I like this particular destiny.

**Author's Note:**

> this just in they're both idiots,


End file.
